January 5th pt.1

 Injuries are to occur in life, and are unfortunately common for athletes, though personally I never expierenced a serious injury before. I never once broken a bone, or torn anything, I sprained by ankle once, but when I dislocated my kneecap and tore my cartilage everything changed for me. My diagnoisis is called medial patellofemoral ligament reconstruction, a surgery in which a new medial patellofemoral ligament is created to stabilize the knee and help protect the joint from additional damage. 

My junior year of high school, January 5th, 2022, I was at wrestling practice. We were going live, which is wrestling as if you were in a real match. I was wrestling a first year wrestler that was 40 pounds heavier than me. Even though she was out of my weight class I was fine with wreslting her since I was dominating the match since I had more expierence and speed. Though the one mistake that destroyed everything for me was pulling her back into me, and not leting her walk out of my control. She fell onto my right knee with all her weight as I pulled, in a mater of a second I feel my knee slide, click, and pop. I even heard it. Instantly I scream, I scream as loud as can, with my chest I scream “My knee! My knee! My knee! Oh fuck, my knee!” as I grab my knee in pain and need of support. She promptly gets off startled, and everyone stops and turns in shock. I’m sobbing and screaming in agony as coaches run over to my side. Through the choked voice I tell them I heard my knee popped. As they tell me to quiet down and breath I pass out. As I reawaken still in agony with my hand in one of my coach’s he taps my face as he calls my name. They tell me that the trainer will be coming and mean while to tell me about my Abuelita’s tamales. They said they enjoyed them very much, which was comforting but still not enough to distract me from the pain. I feel myself gasping for air though I kept choking from my sobs, though finally the trainer rushes over to my side. We tell her what occured and she asks if I am able to get up, thought I respond that I cannot as I feel sharp aching strain from my knee up my thigh making it too agitated to even move. They help me rejust to sit up, and the eventually get up and move to the bench, but every single movement afflicts me more. As doing so the tewam was told to continue but they occasionaly stare with concern and fear. As varsity boy walk in getting ready to practice, I see their stares, and dicussing with one another and underclassmen what occured. I felt almost embarrased not being strong enough as they stare, though as the trainer helps me to leave in cruches then a wheelchair to mother’s car, my team mates try to comfort me and easy my worries.

I leave with an overflow of emotions as I start to settle down with the tears, though I still feel an agony of pain. I worry about what have I done to my knee. Will my mother make me quick wreslting like said she’d would after my first injury? Will I ever be able to return to wrestling again? Does everyone think I’m being weak or dramatic or do they really sympathize with me? Is this karma for breaking my wall with my knee the day prior? I’m not sure what is the answer to all these questiones but what I do know is that I would do anything to end this pain and never feel it again.